Advent: In This Age of Uncertainty…(December 19, 2008)

…comes the fifth installment in the story of the little boy who had no gifts or talents or abilities. The fifth installment comes two days after the last one because I don't have to write every day and so there.

   Plplplbgh; this sound can be made by pushing your tongue between your lips and blowing hard enough to vibrate your lips and tongue.

   Now, imagine me doing that as I face you.

   Stand back a bit. I salivate.

   This story will end on Christmas day, 2008. If you bother to follow it you will feel some mild discomfort when it ends.

   From December 26, 2008 through December 31, 2008, I will review some political situations of the last five years and then bid them adieu. If you bother to read those as well you will probably have some mild feelings of discomfort as well.

   The little boy and Wilbur, the Wizard of the Woods (who was not a wizard or a man who lived the woods or even a person important to the little boy but who was named Wilbur) lived near Delphis. You know the place.

   Delphis has a lot of shrines and altars and idol looking things. Some of them are recognizable.

   There is the American Idol, which features a rude man with a British accent. There is the Unknown Altar, which no one knows much about but all agree is a nice looking altar. There is the Baptist shrine, which has split into three shrines; one where they sing only hymns, one where they sing only jingles and one where they sing both hymns and jingles, but only part of the people sing the hymns and part of the people sing the jingles.

   The ones who sing the jingles smile smugly at the hymn singers during the hymn-singing and the hymn singers glower ominously at the jingle singers during the jingling.

   Delphis was once an important crossroads town. People came from Far and Near, which is 63 miles away from Delphis, to the west, and from Afar, which is nearly as far away to the east. From the north, you came down from Artemis and up from the South at Nachez to meet in Delphis. Since Delphis was so centrally located and had a man named Wormy and a Wizard called Wilbur, people met there to build shrines and drink coffee at Starbuns Coffe House, run by a man named Starbucks, but that name was taken and he could not infringe on copyright.

   Delphis grew mighty and rich because it was the place where people connected. People got together at Delphis.

    Then, people learned to connect in different ways and Delphis became a lot lke aging parents. You went to see Delphis twice a year, remarked about how feeble it was getting, cleaned out its rain gutters and reconnected all its antiquated electronics but you did not stay long. Delphis was your past. You loved Delphis but more as a memory than in the moment.

   The day Wilbur first confronted the little boy with no form or visage or comeliness, Wilbur was tired, hot and hungry. He was a bit dehydrated, too, and dizzy as a result. He could see black spots in front of his eyes. He was not a happy un-Wizard.

   "What did you do to make those other kids run away from you?" Wilbur asked the little boy with no ability.

   To Be Continued…


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