Please note the attributes of holy living mentioned in Colossians 3:12f are all non-moral, at least in the sense of high-backed, stiff-necked, holier than thou morality. Compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience are inward, personal transformational attributes. Holiness is inward, then outward.
Each of the aforementioned attributes serve as possible antidotes to toxic anger, addictive cycles of revenge and immobilizing guilt. That is to say, each one is an avenue to forgiveness.
Please set aside all you think about forgiveness. What you are doing is probably not working.
Forgiveness is more, and other, than the release of vengeful anger. In the same way spiritual impurity is the product of spiritual immaturity, forgiveness is the resolution of wounded pride. Forgiveness is not simple forgetfulness. Admirable living is transparent goodness, unconditional love, expressed in the course of daily life.
Consider this truth: God forgives because it is in the nature of God to forgive. The nature of God is love, service, other-centeredness and utter self-giving. God is a super-natural, extraordinary mind, existent apart from the object of His forgiveness. God releases wrath in measured doses. Forgiveness and unconditional love He lavishes generously from age to age.
Opinions expressed here are mine alone.