Faith Atchley, All American Point Guard

Faith Atchley Saves World

Waxahachie-In a record setting performance so awesome it removed carbon monoxide from the ozone layer and saved the baby seals, Faith Atchley, All-American point guard has once again demonstrated why she is the best. Her 24 point, 14 steal, 2 assist and 10 rebound game also reduced acid rain in the Great Lakes region.

   “We were due amother Ice Age,” said climatologist Dr. Phineas Reagan DuPucker. “Faith was so hot she saved our planet.”

   “I am not exaggerating,” he asserted.

   “I am sick of her,” said Wynell Wynellaman, the opposing point guard. “She steals the ball, she shoots the ball. She rebounds the ball, she passes the ball. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Did she never learn to share? I didn’t even get to shoot. Not one time. I am just sick of her. My mom says I can start piano or lacrosse if I want to but she wants to find out if Faith plays piano or lacrosse first.”

   Told that Faith does, indeed, play piano, Wynell shrugged and said, “Ok. Well, lacrosse then. She doesn’t play lacrosse, does she?”

   Faith Atchley refused to answer media questions about her next step.

   “I just want to finish my 8th grade season,” she said. “The NBA guys can wait until next year, or even the year after.”

   NBA scouts at the game last night scowled at the thought.

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