Father’s Week Post Three

Our Reentry Ministry, Chains of Grace (learn about us at www.chainsofgrace.org) gets up to 300 applications each month from persons who want us to find a place for them when their parole date comes up. We help as many as we can.

We also get to look at a lot of applications. This means we see common factors in the lives of inmates. I have already mentioned the absence of an inmate’s father, or, just as telling, the presence of an abusive father, as a common factor in criminal behavior.

Gentlemen, you need to be present, productive and protective in the life of your child now, or plan to visit the child in prison later. Ladies, you cannot do it all. You cannot make the living, keep the house and raise the children all alone. Take care with the men you see. Is your current man the kind who will be there for you and your child? Will he be productive? Will he be protective?

So much for the review.

Now, gentlemen, you cannot go back in time to select a father who will show you presence, productivity and protection. For us, I am saying we have to stop the cycle of poverty and crime by fathering the next generation, most certainly, to father our own children.

There are some things we do have control over, gentlemen. For instance, there is the habit of looking at pornography. There are many of our ministry members who tell us their abuse of others involved a pornography addiction. I have not yet spoken with an RSO who did not have a porn addiction.

Porn is not a victimless crime. Porn victimizes the viewer. When a person starts to use hours a day to look at porn, the viewer is already victimized. When a person grows tired of one form of porn and has to turn to something worse to get the feeling he once got on regular porn, the viewer is victimized.

There are persons in the system, many, many persons, who are porn addicts. Porn changes the brain chemistry of its victims, like any other drug.

Porn does not empower women by giving them full control of the industry that makes billions off their bodies. Porn degrades its producers and victimizes its viewers.

RSOs with porn addictions will tell you (they have told me) they may have started with regular porn (man/woman) but they moved to other perversions. Prison was the next stop.

Gentlemen, decide to leave the porn alone. Teach your kids to leave it alone. You will protect them more than you can know.

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