For Those Who Cannot Live…

…unless I post my pre-season prognostications for the pigskin season, here we go!

Many, many people have grown frustrated with the Dallas Cowboys (who now play in Arlington, Texas, instead of Irving, Texas). For three straight seasons the Arlington/Irving/Dallas Cowboys have finished 8-8 on the regular season, failing to reach the playoffs each time.

Their 8-8 record will end this year. Fear not.

This year, 2014-2015, the Arlington/Irving/Dallas Cowboys will finish 4-12.

I am hard pressed to prove this because I simply cannot pick the four games they will win. I can easily pick twelve losses, but the four wins, well, they are tough to identify.

About five seasons or so after Jimmy Johnson left the franchise very suddenly, the Cowboys, under the tutelage of their part-time GM and party bus fiend, Mr. Jerry Jones, bottomed out for another three year period, during which they went 5-11 for three years. Since he wanted a new revenue stream (stadium) Mr. Jones brought in a football coach (Bill Parcells) and gave his coach greater control over personnel. In four years, and without a real QB (remember Quincy Carter?) Mr. Bill Parcells took the team back to semi-validity. We are now more than five years removed from Mr. Parcells’ dominion over the football team. Their respectability will end this season and for some years to come.

So, those who cannot bear parity and the dark domain of 8-8, take heart. The Arlington/Irving/Dallas Cowboys will not finish 8-8 this year. They will finish the season 4-12. You will not have to worry about some fictional “play-in” game in Week 17. Their season will be without meaning by Week Eleven.

And, yes, beloved Coach Tom Landry is spinning in his grave.

We miss you, Coach.

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