…bout of writer’s block. I have lacked the initiative, fortitude and mental energy to string together sentences for almost a year. This has been disastrous for me. To write has been a huge part of my life. For nearly a full year now, I just have not had what it takes to put ideas on screen, polish them a bit from time to time and take what comes.
I have no excuse, or even explanation, for why this happened. I do not know if I have overcome this latest, longest bout, but I have felt some clarity for a few days. I finished two short writing assignments today, assignments which I wanted, but which have languished on my desk for months.
Those who know my best will gasp audibly here. I was the guy who got his syllabus at the first day of school and finished the written portions by Labor Day. An essay test was my favorite meat. I wrote.
For nearly a year now I just have not been able to make it work. Granted, everything about my life has been altered unalterably in the last twelve months and I have been made far too comfortable by a loving family, but my paralysis at the keyboard is inexcusable. Like all bi-pedal, carbon based life forms I have only so many days of sentience. I have used up more than a few stewing on my new life and my familial bliss.
And, of course, this has to be followed by my admission that Christendom has proved up to the task of surviving my absence. One of my professional writer friends, I recall, criticized most deeply for writing for free than he ever did when I languished in the doldrums.
“When so many of us are starving,” he used to say, “how dare you put your stuff out there for free?”
I will omit the part where I meant to tell him I wrote for free because that was my top offer at the time. I have seldom turned down a check of any kind or size, but when that is not on the table, a writer still has to write.
And, now, hopefully, I will. I sat down late last night (early this morning?) and finished the two assignments in one great, guzzling gulp. My fingers found the keyboard, easily if not adeptly. Perhaps it is over. Perhaps this is it. Perhaps I am back, or near back, or at least not fading back.
At least, I have some hope.