One Year Ago Today

One year ago today

I learned how to cry again.

To cry, not just to feel sad,

or hurt.

One year ago today

I learned how to cry real tears again.

Normal people know how to cry real tears

all their lives.

My life in ministry,

where

you stand

politely,

quietly,

in the company of those who grieve

yet dare not grieve yourself,

this life makes grief a stranger

in the land where we dwell

wall or not.

So, over fifty years,

I forgot how to cry real tears.

I learned how to cry,

rivers of tears,

springs of living water,

one year ago today.

Here is the odder thing;

not that a grandfather would sob

at the grave site of a tiny boy

with my last name.

I have laughed more in the last year

than in any ten years prior.

Apparently, I am thinking,

the loss of one emotion

proffers the loss of another emotion,

perhaps all.

The little boy wore the name John,

a good, strong name for a boy.

Thank you, John, you helped me a lot in a few short days.

Papa loves you.

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