Service Interrupted: A Political Memoir-Chapter Seventeen (Continued)

   We spend a great deal of time in argument over who will have the nicest boat in the mud puddle. In the end we still just have a boat to float in a mud puddle.

   In truth the BGCT convention staff has not been effectively redesigned by competent, caring hands. The ones who cared did not count and the ones who counted did not care.

   The latest reorganization was effected by a person initially employed to take process notes at listening sessions. Somehow or other, the responsibility to revamp the BGCT was handed over to her. We then embarked on yet another high cost, low yield reorganization in which we decided "evangelism" did not test well as a word. Sexist prejudices were plainly manifest  in her presentations and I confronted her about these bigotries. We locked out successful persons with a record of reaching people in order to accept a thirty year old mainstream organizational model sure to alienate our clientele.

   Welcome to the administrative mind of the Wade administration. You will need life boats in this mud puddle.

   Tragedy is the common-law mate to choice; they live together always but wed without ceremony. To choose cuts off freedom of action, of thought, of reason. Thus, choice must be allowed only with deepest comprehension and no little apprehension. The Enlightenment thinkers and the Romantics who followed them sincerely believed the "ordinary" folk were so blind to their true natures they could only be freed by experts who knew what was best for the common man.

   So, Hume/Kant divorced God from the process and, in so doing, gave rise to the Romantic cult of "Genius," the true secular antecedent to totalitarianism, to fascism, to radical nihilism, to genocide. The Muscular Unbelievers (Free Thinkers, Evangelical Atheists) of our day arrogate themselves to the place of God (it has ever been so) as they insist they must hold the top place in the Post-Modern Cult of Genius/Savior, for the place they want is the place God once held.

   The Cult of Genius/Savior in the denomination is the expiring breath (nirvana) of cooperative community. We must have a David Currie or a Charles Wade or some exalted personage to "save us" from ourselves. When they prove to be errant, fallible, even pitiful in the latter case, we find ourselves on a one-minded crusade to "fight fundamentalism" as though that is the only fight we must fight, or, we find ourselves mired in the extravagant self-pity of the hapless leader.

   Tragedy is the illegitimate child of perverted choice. Choice sets in motion certain forces which must entail significant loss. The loss may be this: a sense of humility leading to intimate self-doubt or the sense of inner divideness. Hubris may conceive that which ought to humble but the fetus partakes of the DNA of its parents.

   Let me write this another way. If you don’t know what you are doing, don’t do it. If you don’t care to find out what it is you are doing and where it might lead, don’t ask to drive. If you routinely take an extreme position because of your own deep inner need, at least understand your position is extreme and is based on your inner need. You are not the Genius or the Savior but just another needy person.

   We do not have, you and I, a single, undivided nature, easily educated to take the path of righteousness. We have to choose to cooperate. We will usually find it easier to secede from one another than to it is to unite. There are no certainties in public or private choice. The best we can hope for as we peer through this dark glass is to have leaders of competence and good intention.

   We have had leaders in our state convention who have competence. We have had many of emotional good intentions. We have not had recently and do not have now and do not yet see on the horizon one leader, man or woman, who combines both competence and good intention with a healthy dose of self-doubt.

   Tragedy is the result. 



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