You will not read this story elsewhere. To prevent widespread panic, official sources will not offer this report. The story you will read is true. A few names have been changed to protect the writer (me). Most of the people mentioned in this story carry firearms on their person, some legally, and they know where I live.
Vicious, Hissing (Giant) Ninjadilloes: The Beginning
Ten years ago, a truck carrying Armadillo Growth Hormones (AGH) jack-knifed just outside Weatherford, Texas, on Interstate-20. The circumstances of the crash were mysterious; late at night, a one vehicle accident, the lone driver clawed beyond recognition by tiny paws, the truck's cargo missing.
Local law enforcement, assisted by Super Trooper B. Cooper combed the nearby fields for any clues to the whereabouts of the missing cargo or the outlaw bandits. Not a trace of AGH or the thieves could be found.
"I remember it like it was yesterday," said STBC. "In fact, maybe it was yesterday. I really get my days mixed up now. What was the question?"
With such assiduous help, it is obvious the incident was the work of master criminals. How else do you explain the ability of the criminals to vanish into thin air?
Or did they?
Citizens of the tiny hamlet of Brock, Texas, near the scene of the crash, began to notice changes in the local eco-system. At first, it was an occasional vanished chihuahua, then a lawn completely demolished by some nocturnal vandal. Finally, entire fields began to crumble in on themselves, undercut by some unexplained, giant tunnels.
"I felt the earth move under my feet more than once," said NoAnnie Bobbie, long time local resident. "Or, maybe they just my new hip in crooked. I can't be sure."
Indeed. How did the hip get in crooked? And Who are "They?"
The mystery deepens.
Next Post: VH (G) Ninjadilloes Attack